Sunday, February 09, 2014

Top 30 Not-So-Serious Unanswered Points From #Sherlock Series III ...

After watching Series III of Sherlock about 5 times (ok, it was more like 8...) there's a few questions I have. Not serious ones, not much about plot points (I'll leave that to Tumblr) - more about some random thoughts that crossed my mind ...

So here we go ...

What was the bungee cable connected to, his coat? Major fail. That Belstaff coat is damn good for £1350 but I doubt it's tensile strength would withstand Benedicts weight. Still, maybe Sherlock could tell me, he did after all, write a piece on fibre tensile strengths.

Seriously, I'm a biker (a bigger bike than this little Yamaha, though) and no-one stops me in the road and demands my ride. No-one alive, anyway. No biker gives away his ride and certainly not his helmet - it's like lending your girlfriend out for the evening. Ain't gonna happen.

I'm also a keen cyclist. I know this guy was part of the big 'Lazarus' plot, but honestly, no helmet and riding on the pavement? Tsk, tsk.

There's always a 'Off' switch, eh? Oh, good. Bomb Disposal Squads all over the world, you can breathe a sigh of relief. All those years of training were never required.

This kid. Borderline social skills ('No', 'No', 'Why?', 'What for?') - interested in murder ('Cool!') *and* provides Sherlock with the critical clue at the wedding ('Mr Holmes, it was the invisible man with the invisible knife!') - he's basically Sherlock Mk2, in training, isn't he? Step aside, Billy Wiggins. Sherlock has a new protege.

So Sherlock really did bring handcuffs to the wedding? Without knowing there'd be a crime to solve, or anyone to arrest? Two possibilities. Either he felt John and Mary might need, er inspiration, or he had plans with Janine. (Okay, in the end, we know he did) But seriously, handcuffs on a first date?

I'm a chef. Rule 1 - You don't let a unsupervised waiter anywhere near a meat thermometer. Waiters are simple souls and meat thermometers are sharp. And expensive.

Come on, has *no* London Tea Shop put 'Earl Grey with Eyeball' on the menu yet? I'd pay for that. Although my tea-drinking expert friends say that it'd be better with Darjeeling.

These two better get together in Series IV or there'll be trouble. Just saying.

Just *what* was in the one, single matchbox among 1000's surrounding a dead man that wasn't empty? We need to know. It's not ACD canon, so I can't find it. I hate that.

So after the 'Earl Grey with Eyeball' not appearing in Tea Shops all over England, now I find that if I ask for precisely 442.7ml of beer in my local, I just get a funny look. Sherlock gets served. Life is really not fair.

I know there's an app for everything, but seriously, is there really an app that tells you how drunk you are depending on your intake and length of visit to the bathroom? Some programmers have way too much time on their hands.

Sherlock simultaneously uses 7 laptops. Has he never heard of multiple tabs?

Am I the only one who needed to know what her '10 things about a perfect man' were? Bearing in mind her perfect evening out was a 'In a dungeon' this is a character we like.

Sherlock, one word, okay? eCigarette. It's easier on the lips than 13 fags in the mouth at once, even unlit.

Award for briefest but most unexpected and very welcome guest appearance. Is their even a Bafta for that? There should be.

Talking of Baftas, can they be split three ways? These three, equally deserving.

How many practice attempts, Benedict, for this leap? How many broken glasses?

For Molly, slapping Sherlock is getting to be a full-time job. She gets away with it because she's a BAMF. But it is starting to verge on physical abuse now, okay?

Was I the only one who gave a cheer when Sherlock said "White Supremacist, ignore him" ? See, Far-Right Extremists, those racist beliefs will kill you in time.

Best line of the spisode - "That wife !! Pfttt !" Again, award for best guest appearance to Andrew Scott, to be shared with Lara Pulver.

We can't see behind the mask, but I assume this doctor has no facial hair. Remember, Sherlock prefers his Doctors to be clean-shaven. He'd be really disappointed to find out he was cut up by a Doc with a Goatee.

Am I the only one to think, when seeing the Appledore mansion, "Jeez, what are his heating bills like?"

I hope we see - and hear - more of Janine, played by Yasmine Akram. That voice, that accent. Gorgeous.

I believe it's highly illegal to damage or deface the Coin of the Realm. Still, that's the last of Mary's worries. Mostly, am I the only one thinking "Did Mary ever get her 50p back?"

Sherlock, detective and dragon slayer. Mycroft, effectively runs the British Intelligence Service. Yet both are smoking in secret because they're both a bit scared of Mummy. I find that hilarious.

The moment, I think, when Sherlock realised that his plan had gone awry and his only hope now was to shoot Magnussen, saving Mary (and thus John) but which would mean jail or exile, or either way separation from his friend. He takes one last look. That's how I read it.

"You know what happened to the other one" - WHAT OTHER ONE?

At this point even most male viewers understood the pain. I can't recall this scene from the first viewing, my vision was a big blurred. I'm sure I wasn't the only one.

And finally, the myth debunked. Moriarty appears on screen as Mrs Hudson vacuums Sherlocks flat. That's Mrs Hudson, who always claimed "I'm your landlady, dear, not your housekeeper". Also Exotic Dancer and Drug Cartel Administration.