Thursday, December 15, 2011

Tom Cruise Is *No* Jack Reacher ... 'Mission Implausible' ...

If you're hooked on great detective novels .. as I am .. You'll be aware of Jack Reacher. I just *love* these books. I even have the t-shirt.

Reacher is the creation of British-born thriller writer Lee Child, and has appeared in 16 novels so far, all of them best-sellers (the latest, 'The Affair' is just out).

He's a big man, a quiet loner, with mental and physical scars, wandering the US after many years of Military Service, drinking lots of coffee, getting into lots of trouble, solving problems and then moving on.

As the author describes Reacher :

"He was in the machine his whole life. Then the machine coughed and spat him out. Now he takes it easy. He's not looking for trouble. But sometimes trouble looks for Reacher."

The short guy
So many Reacher fans have been waiting for the movie. And here it comes... prepare to be disappointed. Reacher - 6'5", 250 lbs, wide, intimidating, blond-ish, will be played by ... Tom Cruise.


Tom Cruise.

A full foot too short, 100 lbs too light and not nearly half as mean.

The template
Let's get an idea of who Reacher should look like, shall we?

When Child was asked a few years ago who he had in his minds eye when writing the Reacher character, he mentioned England Rugby International Captain (and World Cup winner) Lawrence Dallaglio (left). Oh, if only he could act.

Maybe Hugh Jackman would be a good cast. Or Damien Lewis. Jeez, even Vin Diesel.
Not Tom Cruise, then.

There's been an huge uproar among Reacher fans over this ridiculous casting. After years waiting for a Reacher movie, perhaps even a series, it looks like a possible franchise (think Jason Bourne) will be stopped in it's tracks by the Hollywood machine, and Cruise's ego. (Mind you, I never thought Matt Damon was right for Jason Bourne either.)

There's even been a Facebook Page been set up : "Tom Cruise is not Jack Reacher".

The blonde
Apparently, Tom Cruise has been rather upset by the criticism, even before shooting starts.

Of course, the movie might just be saved by the casting of the wonderful Rosamund Pike (right) as Cruise's co-star.
But the plain fact is, just as Dan Quayle was no Jack Kennedy, Tom Cruise is no Jack Reacher.

You might even call it 'Mission Implausible'.